Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!

And that it was! We had a great day today. We had a great time especially because he had around 8 inches of snow last night and most of it fell in less than 8 hours. The boys were so excited to have some snow to use their new sleds on. Today the weather was wonderful, bright blue skies, snow on the trees and ground, it was just a beautiful day. We all had a fun time this morning opening gifts and enjoying time with each other. I am so glad that I have the rest of this week off. It is some much needed time to spend with my boys. It will be so nice to be able to just "hang out" with the boys and spend some quality time without having to worry about being anywhere or doing anything. After we do some cleaning that really needs some attention, we will bust out some games, watch some movies that we got for Christmas, and hopefully have some "Peace on Earth" in our home for a few days.
The last few days I have felt so much more peace and comfort. I know that the Lord has blessed me with that peace so that we could have a nice Christmas that we will remember for a long time. John has been such a great support lately, and that has meant the world to me. I was seriously worried about us and which way we were headed, but I think things are turning around and we are doing so much better now.
Well, I am going to go check on my boys before I go to bed. I am so grateful for such a great day like today. Its what we all needed.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Here I have promised myself to cheer up, put on a smile, get into the Christmas Spirit. For some reason it really has been hard to get myself there, and I am sure its cause of Chloe for one reason. She is still in the hospital and her mom is at home about to give birth. I can't imagine all this going on especially during Christmas time. Stacie will be induced on the 22nd, and hopefully get their little baby boy here.
We have some neighbors who live a block away from us whom we really don't know real well, but Marcus and Aaron know their oldest daughters. Anyway, day before yesterday their 11 yr-old daughter was diagnosed with a..... BRAIN TUMOR! Hers is located between 2 lobes and is sitting on a major artery. They did surgery today to try and take out what they could. When Julie, our neighbor called and told me (she is the R. S. president in their ward) I was dumbfounded! All the feelings came rushing back and the nightmare was real again. I just want to run over to their house and hug every one of those kids. Oh how I wish NO-ONE would have to hear those words or feel that stab in the stomach. That night John and I sat in the dark, just staring at our Christmas Tree not even speaking to each other, but yet knowing what the other was thinking. John finally said... I never knew life could be this hard.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

We made it.

I haven't posted in a while because life has just been crazy.
We got some bad news yesterday. Marcus took 5 hours of testing yesterday with the Neuro-psychologist and the extent of his short term memory loss is a lot more than we thought. He really has a hard time remember anything unless he goes over it over 4 or 5 times in a row and that is only on some things. He has been failing every test he has taken. His language skills are pretty minimal. The place where the tumor was, is where his language is. He has always struggled putting his thoughts on paper, but now it is even worse. He has a hard time putting his thoughts together period as well as not really understanding words that he reads or hears. School at this point is going to be a MAJOR struggle for him and so is trying to get the schools to make accommodations for him. He pretty much passes the tests on a "below average" level, therefore this legally doesn't qualify him for "resource". He hasn't been able to get his drivers permit because he can't understand the book to begin with, plus he can't remember things either. He also has "outbursts" where he actually hurts his brothers, and according to the Dr.'s that is normal with any frontal lobe injury. They think going to a psychiatrist would be good and maybe put him on a anti-depressant. I guess to me its just a reality-check that yes, Marcus is alive and well, but in terms of his future, all the dreams he has ever had are gone. Even the thought of a mission is a very scary thought for him, especially when he can't put his thoughts together to say a prayer other than what he has said over and over again for years. It really bit me in the butt that life for him will never be "normal" and trying to keep him positive and happy is getting to be harder and harder. He realizes that and I am sure its the scariest thing for him. Not being able to remember is a scary thought for me, but to think that most of the things I wanted to do in life are going to be harder than ever, if even possible at all.
On the other hand, we have been blessed with another chance for him, for which we don't know for how long. I know tomorrow is another day and I will be grateful for having another day with my sons and husband.