Sunday, July 17, 2011


I broke out my pen again and started on my novel.  It feels strange to call it that, but that is exactly what I want it to be.  I feel intimidated because I don't have the education background that others have.  I only attended 1 year of college, but on every paper I wrote, my professors gave me an A.  I think I even recall an A+ and a comment saying "great writing".  This was a shock to me considering I barely skated through High School and my dear English teacher didn't like my writing.  I know it is only one opinion, but hers was the only one that counted in those days.  To this day (25 yrs later) her words still ring clear every time I feel like sharing my writing with anyone.  I know I am insecure, and have been all my life.  I grew up with learning disabilities, before we even knew there were such a thing.  I have always felt dumb, and teased as such.  My ACT scores aren't even mentionable.  So here I am 40-something and still insecure.  Of course my insecurities also stem from having a few English majors in the family.  I just can't put myself out there to the critics of all critics. (love you guys!) 
One thing that really scares me is that someone might steal my idea.  There is one person who seems to have taken off on my idea when they asked me about the premise of my writing.  So now I really don't want to share in fear of being betrayed.  I know that sounds crazy, but I am writing from deep inside and it would hurt to have someone take advantage of that. There is a part of me that wants to share it because it is something that I have put so much time and energy in, but then the thought of it being slammed or even laughed at scares me.  Obviously I am considering it or I wouldn't be writing about it here. 
I suppose when the time is right, I will share something. 

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Lindsay Writes: HUGE Giveaway!! signed copies of books!! Stand Up ...

Lindsay Writes: HUGE Giveaway!! signed copies of books!! Stand Up ...: "In honor of recent run-ins with Cancer, I am doing a huge giveaway to support the cause!

If you love to read YA books, go to Lindsay's website. She is raising $$ for cancer research, plus you might get some signed books free!! Its for a very worthy cause!


In Memory of Linda Rowbury

A few short weeks ago, Linda was at work (USU Credit Union), making final preparations for her to go on her Maternity leave.  She was looking forward to being at home with all 4 of her children and enjoying her new little one that was scheduled for a C-section soon. 
All of that would never happen.  One evening after work, she retired to her room because she was feeling really tired.  After a nap, she got up when she suddenly collapsed to the floor going into cardiac arrest.  Her oldest son Carter heard her fall, ran in and found her on the ground.  He ran outside grabbed his Dad who came in , dialed 911 and started CPR when he realized she wasn't breathing.  They continued to work on her as they rushed her to the ER.  Doctors were able to take the baby and get her on life support.  Both Linda and baby were life-flighted to Salt Lake City.  10 hours later, Linda passed away.  Baby Charlie Linda is still in ICU, with severe brain damage, but doing OK. 
Her husband Brad, is trying to keep life going.  Taking care of his 3 children (ages 10, 7, and 3) who are at home and then driving to Salt Lake to be with baby Charlie.  My heart breaks for all of them. 
Linda worked with John for the last 7 years at the Credit Union where they became friends.  Brad and Linda were in our Ward (Church) for years.  They worked in the Church Library for a while where Marcus would love to escape from Sunday School to go in and visit with both Brad and Linda. I should say more like tease each other.  For some reason, Marcus  named them "the Strawberries".  As time went on, we got to know the Strawberries better and spent some fun times together.  We started a new tradition of spending New Years Eve at each others house. 
When Marcus got sick again, Linda was close by and ready to help.  I remember she stayed up 1/2 the night making cinnamon rolls for Marcus because he requested them when she asked what he wanted most. She loved to serve others and always put their needs first. 
Linda had the most amazing laugh that was very contagious.  Her wit was so unique and sarcasm was her best friend.  She had a way of making you feel like you were her favorite.  Brad's sense of humor, personality and wit matched hers so well. 
After Marcus passed away, Linda and a few others made sure I was getting out and having some fun.  But as time went on, I pulled away and our little outings ended.  We talked about getting together and doing things, but it never happened.  When I found out she was pregnant again, I was almost mad at her.  I didn't know why I didn't want this to happen, but my heart could feel that things were going to change.  I had no idea what that meant.  

What I have learned...

When I learned of Linda's passing, my heart ached again. I felt that familiar pain in my chest, in my heart, the lump in my throat and knot in my stomach.  When I was about to ask God "How much heart-ache can I take?  Why am I dealing with so many losses, so much pain, suffering?  I just can't take this anymore! Too many funerals of children, loved ones, friends, and neighbors who were too young to die."  Then I felt the world shift. I received a message, a Miracle.  I looked to my Heavenly Father, and instead of concentrating on MY heart, MY suffering, I gave it to Him. Instead of "why am I always hurting, always being tried, losing so many people I love", Today it became:  "How blessed I am to have had these exceptional, beautiful influences in my life. A new warmth came over me, I am so thankful that I was a part of their lives and they mine!!"  They each taught me love, courage, strength, and joy.  I am thankful to have these experiences because they are now a part of me. 
I will never forget Linda, she was such a dear friend.  I will continue to pray for Linda, Brad, Carter, Ryen, Jack, and baby Charlie. May they have the peace and comfort of our Lord, and Savior.