New Moon...

Dealing with life and everything that it has given me, there is a place where I can get away and not think about the "real world". Ever since Marcus' cancer recurred, I dove into the Twilight books with all my heart so I could get away from the heart ache that I was facing. ME!! The person who NEVER read a book longer than 200 pages in my life!! I read 4 books, back to back. It was so strange for me to do something like READING, but to read about Vampires, and werewolves was even crazier! Life in the Twilight fantasy world got me through the worst year of my life! Even now when there are times when I can't handle the pain, I get out these books and they make me smile. So if there were some way I could Thank Stephenie Meyer, I would! She kept me somewhat sane.
The movie Twilight came out in November of 2008, and it was, to me, very disapointing! I really didn't think that the story was even told! I feel bad that it was such a bomb in my eyes and was afraid that if they didn't do something different, I would not see New Moon. Edward to me, could have been better cast! He looks so pained all the time and I feel like he has no personality in the first movie.


Redeaming itself. That's how I felt when I saw the trailers to New Moon. It was painful to wait for the movie to come out... not even sure why. I have NEVER been so crazy about anything in my life! LOVED IT!! Wow... The graphics of Jacob changing into a wolf made the whole movie! I have always loved Jacob in the books, but Taylor Lautner really brought him to life. Still disturbed by the actor who plays Edward (I don't even know his name, stubborn... aren't I?) with way too much lipstick and looking like he needs to go to the bathroom when he kisses Bella... (I know, I have issues), this movie exceeded my expectations!!
So I have to confess... I have fallen in love with a dumb series that involves Vampires and Werewolves... haha. It must be a mid-life crisis thing... or maybe just a "life crisis" thing that keeps me from really falling in with the CRAZIES! Well... maybe it's because I can relate a little to Bella's situation? Maybe we all can? Choosing what is best for us versus choosing what we want and desire can bring us a lot of heartache and turmoil.

One more thing... is it wrong for a woman in her 40's to have a photo of Jacob (a minor), shirtless, on the background of her phone? Have I completely lost my mind?? John and my 15-yr-old (I won't mention his name to save him from shame) think I need to be in a padded room for a while... Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

"You Belong With Me" (Jacob Black Remix!)

Here is a great song re-mixed for "jacob" from the Twilight series. I love it. Here are the Lyrics:

LYRICS (by Matt Sullivan)
You're in the woods with your vampire Edward Cullen
He’s always whining and complaining, he's so sullen
He doesn’t get you’re human like I do

I'm at the gym, it's a typical Tuesday night
Lifting the kind of weights he doesn't like
And he'll never know your family like I do

But he sparkles, and I'm so hairy
He's so sexy and I'm so scary
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that you hate vampires and love canines

If you could see that I'm the wolf who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Hangin' out in Forks, while he's in Italy
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Howling at the moon thinkin' to myself
Hey, isn't Ed sleazy?

And you've got a beauty that could light up this whole town
Haven't seen it since he brought those biters around
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a sucker so wack?

He's so pale, I'm so tan
He's kinda bitchy and I'm all man
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
that you hate vampires and love canines

If you could see that I'm the wolf who understands you
I’m down on all fours, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Marching Band 2009.

The 2009 Marching Band season is now over with. This is the 5th year and the second child to be involved with the Mountain Crest High School Marching Band. "Ivasion" was the theme this year which was music taken from the movie 300. The story of the show is a war between the brass and the woodwinds, which made it very interesting because the brass start out on one side of the field and the woodwinds on the other.
The Band earned 2nd and 3rd places this year, beating a band that had 100 more kids than their band. They went to Bands of America Regional competition in St. George Utah and came in 3rd in their division, 1st in state in their division, and made finals!!! In the finals they came in 6th place overall.. out of 21 bands!!

Aaron played the baritone this year and seems to be really good at it. Who knew? He decided to stick with it for concert band as well. I am excited to see how he does with the concert baritone. There aren't too many of them, since all the trombone players play the baritone in Marching band. I think there will only be 3 baritones. I think he is excited to play Marcus' baritone. My dad fixed it while he was here so the keys didn't stick anymore. I heard Aaron practicing it the other day and had to re-evaluate in my mind who it was.

Aaron has been doing so well in school and band. He seems to have grown up a lot and now has some goals for the future. He is studying chemistry and loves it, not to mention his geometry has been pretty easy for him so far. He took on taking German, and he is really struggling with it. Of course I tried to convince him to take spanish where I could probably help him, but he had to be different and take German. (where are the Schills when we need them?.. haha)

I am very proud of Aaron and the person he is becoming. I think I was right when I was saying... "come on 15" less than a year ago. Both Aaron and Marcus seemed to really find out who they were when they turned 15. Of course all the problems don't go away, but they seem to snap out of the "what the heck is going on with me?" stage that they had been in since like 12. Of course Noah will be turning 11 soon, so I am sure it will start all over again with him.

Learning to appreciate each child's personality is quite a journey. They change in so many ways as they grow up, but there are so many characteristics that are there when they are born, that just become stronger. I remember seeing each one of my children's faces for the first time and a wave of recognition came over me. I immediately knew their personalities, and could feel the potential of their spirit. What a blessing it is to be a mother. I just don't know how anyone could not believe that their is a God after experiencing birth, or looking into your own child's eyes and seeing so much faith, knowledge and immediate recognition of them from our pre-existence.

For those who have not experienced it yet, or may not be able to in this life, I know that one day your heart will experience children with so much joy that will surpass the extent of the pain in your heart today. My heart goes out to you, and pray that you may have comfort and faith.

Not sure where all that came from, but it came out so I must have needed to say it.

October 26, 2009

This is what we woke up to the morning of October 26th. It was a beautiful sight to open the door and see that we had been "heart-attacked" by someone who wanted to remain anonymous.. Whoever you are, we really love and appreciate you very much. It is so nice to know that people are still thinking of us.

Yes, October 26th 2009, was the one year "Anniversary" of Marcus' death. We didn't plan a whole lot that day. John took the day off, I ended up picking Aaron up from school cause he didn't feel well.

John and I went to breakfast and did some window shopping together. We had some nice time alone together.

That evening our family, Katie, Emma, Ellie, Julie, Gary and Kyle came with us out to the cemetery. We each wrote a note to Marcus and tied it to our balloon. All at one time we released the balloons.

In the last year, I feel like I am having more and more happy times. I feel more at peace, but yet there are those days where nothing can take away the pain, I spend the day in my jammies and not able to really function..... BUT those are getting to be fewer.

Jackson and Noah were wrestling around out on the open area when Aaron joined in on them. Kyle thought that was an unfair fight, so he grabbed Aaron and took him down. They had some fun doing what we call "male bonding" in our house. It seems to be the thing to do when we go out to the cemetery. Of course when Marcus was around, he was usually theinstigator of it all.

I am so glad that my boys are comfortable going there and able to feel at peace.

Here is the weathervane we got for Marcus. Every pilot needs a weathervane!!