Saturday, November 27, 2010

Thanksgiving Day, Part II

After posting my thoughts and deep feelings about this Thanksgiving, I took my family and went over to my dear friend, Julie's, for a scrumptious dinner with all the works.  I got to visit with her family, that is almost like my own now.  Moving downstairs, the video game "Just Dance" became the big hit of the day.  What a blast!!  The object was to move to the music the way the figure on the screen was doing, using the wii remote.
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I had forgotten what it was like to get up and dance like that, I truly enjoyed doing what I could.  Of course after only 2 LONG dances, ones that I ended up victorious against my boys and "the ladies" in the house, I collapsed.  I am thinking this would be a great gift for Santa to bring our family.  Not only did the boys enjoy it, I LOVED it.  As my councilor advised me to do, I will try something new.  Of course today I am FEELING it all over!!  My knees are swollen and I ache all over... but we had a great time together as a family and that is something I know we need more of. 

After my body had had enough of that, I went over to see my "Other Mother and Sister" Nila and Jenni Partington.  As I got into my van and started out my driveway, it all hit.  The tears, the pain and the sobs began.  Before I knew it, I was at the cemetary, in the dark, the temperature about 5 degrees, in almost a foot of snow, on my hands and knees digging the snow off of his headstone.  I found the batman figure and plane burried deep, when I did, I grabbed them and cleaned them off.  Still sobbing, I pulled them into my chest.  I continued to wipe the snow off of the flowers, off of his windchimes.  The pain kept coming and so did the tears and the sobs.  I think I was only there about 10 minutes before my sanity started to kick back in.  Wiping the snow, the tears and smeared makeup off my face, I tried to decide where I was going to go.  If I went home, I would be alone, (boys were still at Julie's) so I tried to put myself together and continued to drive over to Nila's.  I knew if anyone, she and Jenni could cheer me up. 

The one thing they can do is laugh.  Just after a few minutes all 3 of us were laughing and giggling.  I am so blessed to have so many friends and family close by.  They give me strength, love and courage to get up and go on with life.  To enjoy the moments I have now.   


Nancy said...

Stupid grief... it can come in waves and can sure sneak up on us, can't it? I'm so very glad that you went to Nila's and Jenny's. I'm glad that they helped you laugh and feel better. I love you and pray for you all the time. I have yet to update my blog main since posting about Jessica's death. I've started to several times but then either feel it's getting too personal or get tired and go to bed - which is what I'm doing tonight. But I appreciate you posting to your blog and I'm proud of you for tryng something new!

Love ya sis!

Luciiano said...

I am Brazilian and I do not understand English very well. But I'll follow you to your blog, follow me too, thank you.

Hugs from a Brazilian.

Kristi said...

I am new to blogging so I'm not sure exactly how this works. But I needed to tell you how much your post touched my heart. Your courage to be real and authentic is beautiful. I can not imagine what you are going through but as someone who has walked this same path with my best friend (her little boy passed away at age 7)I can say that I am very sorry.
I also wanted to tell you I saw your picture of your son Marcus. I saw him, prayed for you, and thought of your family. In that small way he was thought of....he is known. You have beautiful boys! God be with you and bless you~