Gosh, I never thought that my job caused me so much stress. I thought for sure that I would be more tense and go crazy being at home, but it has been the opposite. I haven't had to take as much meds for my pains and anxiety like I used to. Plus, I really think that I used work to ignore the problems that were going on at home. At first I thought that was a good thing, but now I can see that it has caused a little damage. Aaron and Marcus are really struggling with school and friends, they used to fight so much with each other, I thought the police would have to come separate them at times! Since I have been home, they have been getting along so much better, even though they get too physical and don't realize they are almost "adult SIZE" now and not the little kids they used to be (well, they are in their hearts). I honestly feel that this is what I was supposed to do. Nothing is more important that these years and they are flying by. Already Aaron's "attitude problem" is a little less, he is working on his homework more and is trying a little harder. Noah hugs me every morning and tell me he is glad to have me home. I sure did miss seeing the boys in the morning!!
Marcus is really having a hard time with friends. You always hope that teens will open up and tell you whats bothering them, but that doesn't happen until it spills out. Marcus isn't a real social person, but lately I have noticed that he has been really down. He has stopped going to dances, won't go on dates, and doesn't "hang out" with anyone. He finally told me that kids he thought were good friends of his have been doing things and not inviting him. He said he told them straight out that he wanted to go to the next dance with them, but they made plans without him anyway. He gets a ride to school with a friend of his who is senior, except for certain days. Well, he told me that a kid on the bus called him a 'retard' right to his face and was laughing at him!! Marcus stood up to him and told him he has cancer, but that didn't seem to stop this idiot! People stare at him and that makes him uncomfortable for sure. I asked him if he knew when prom was and he just snapped at me and said... "don't know, don't care". It just breaks my heart, High School is so hard for all kids, but to look different than everyone else must be so hard. I am sure girls are afraid of him because of his situation and they really don't know what to say. I wish I could find one girl that would ask him out to build his confidence. It is so hard for me to watch him go through this, I just want him to be a "normal teen" but I know he is not. I just wish they could see what I see, but then again, no one can see what I can see, I am his mother.