Thursday, February 26, 2009

Time.

4 months ago today.... seems like so much longer....who slowed life down? Oh how I miss my Marcus today. Its like my body knows when the 26th comes around, it is a little easier than last month, but it's amazing that a dumb number can cause such an emotional difference.

On top of that Aaron is getting into a little trouble at school. Nothing big, like drugs alcohol or anything like that, but just enough to get in trouble and go see the Principal.... I know he is just getting some attention and letting everyone know who he is and that he is here. He is trying to find himself and making sure people know he's not Marcus. He is such a fun kid and I know he is not depressed like he used to be. I know he's going to be OK, but what do I do with him in the meantime? He told me to sell him on E-bay.... haha.

Jackson is home sick today. He was throwing up this morning until school started, and now he seems to be fine. He has a program tonight where he is supposed to be Abraham Lincoln, maybe its just nerves. Gotta love being the MOM.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Karen. Glad to hear from you. If it's not one thing for you it's another. Of course you will miss your Marcus and there will always be things that make you feel down, but you also have the spirit within you to keep you going. You also have those three other boys who continue to need you which is difficult right now because you are still in the healing process. You might want to give Aaron a journal to write in. He can write whatever his heart desires and whatever is in his mind and heart will come out eventually. He has a lot to carry with him as well, the loss of a brother, parents who are grieving, hormones in his own body and wanting to be Aaron and live his life not in the shadow of his older brother. And that is difficult since he went through a lot with you while Marcus was ill. And if the journal doesn't work, try some one one time with him like an outing, lunch etc. just to be together and focus on him. It's amazing what goes through kids' heads having three boys of my own who are all grown up but still need their parents for different situations. I was also a teacher and what kids wrote in those journals if they shared them was amazing. Try some family counseling as well. There's lots going on within and you don't want to let it fester for him and he may not share since you are hurting as well. And that's my little piece of whatever. You take care and I will continue for your healing and I will say an extra prayer for Aaron. Love to you in the name of Jesus, Sandy from MD

Becky Heard said...

My friend at school was just saying how she was thinking of selling her son on ebay too. :-) The 26th of the month was always hard for me too because Holly was born on the 26th of the month. For me the 26th was always hard because it marked another month or year older that she would have been.

Anonymous said...

As your friend Aaron Neville reminds you, "It's all right!" Maybe whenever Aaron Russell gives you fits, you can think of Aaron Neville and remember that. I don't think eBay would have taken my boy at age 14 but as many experienced parents assured me back then, it'll be all right and, surprise, it is!!

We had a big funeral in our church this weekend. A friend remarked to me this morning that he doesn't like the words "rest in peace," that it seems so boring. In fact, he can't even find any reference to it in scripture. That made me think of Marcus, busy in his mission. Peace, yes, rest, perhaps not...thankfully.

And poor Abraham Lincoln, I hope he recovered in time for his stage debut!

Finally, the word on the street is that Noah was to receive an important merit badge last night. Is the rumor true? Do tell.

Monica

Alice said...

For whatever reason, I've been especially weepy these last couple of days. Then yesterday Julie found some baby pictures of Jesse, and there is a really cute one of him and Marcus- I'm sure I have a lot more put away, so when I get some time I'll go thru them & send you some. I'm sure you feel the same way I do. Every picture of him is priceless!! Jesse has a picture of Marcus in his locker- and has really struggled thru all of this. Just today he told me that he thinks about him every single day, that he know's he'll see him again... but it's just waaay too looong to wait. I think we all feel that pain. Well maybe on March 26 you should plan something to get your mind off of things.. like plan a trip to Tucson! haha!

Patricia said...

Hello Karen,

I just came to your blog through your sister's blog "are we having fun yet?" and to hers by "boymom", who served with me back in the mission times.
Look, my english has gone really bad lately and I do not have all the words I would like to express. But I just wanted to let you know that right now, sittin in front of my computer here in Madrid, thousands of miles away from you, I have been deeply touched by your strength, and by that of your sister.
I wish I had known Marcus here in earth, but I am so happy I have come to know him through your words and images.The first thing I have known about him is that he had passed away, and yet, for me has just come to live only just today.
I hope you don't mind I'd like to talk about him in our family home evening and also in my sunday school class (I teach young man and young women).
Thanks for being there, communicating, living, growing in faith.
Con todo mi amor,
Patricia.

Karen said...

Patricia,it would be an honor for you to speak about Marcus. I feel that Marcus' mission on earth and now beyond the Vail is to strengthen and convert many.
Thank you for your beautiful words and for your support.
I do understand and speak spanish (I am from Mexico, originally) but since I haven't used it much, I really am losing it.
Me da mucho gusto conocerte.
Sinceramente,
Karen