I know I have posted a few times of the behavior problems that Marcus has been having, but there are no words to express my feelings of despair when he has a major explosion and hurts someone, verbally and especially physically. There are times where I have had to come between him and one of his brothers, and the thought has crossed my mind that I may have to jump in front of him and take a severe blow for one of them from a person who is not "Marcus". There have been many days where I go to bed sobbing, wondering if our family/marriage can survive this part of the trial. Even though the "MONSTER"...aka cancer (as Aunt LaRae calls it) isn't there, it feels like there is a different kind of one in Marcus trying to destroy our family.
On Easter, my Mom (thanks Mom) sent me a link to a website that has brought me so much comfort to me. I visit it daily to feel the love and strength I need to get through the day. I can't wait until these images are available for purchase so I can put them where I can see them all day. These photos are on display in the Visitors Center of the Arizona Temple in Mesa, Arizona. I hope I will be able to see the the display sometime soon. Here is the link.... if you can, go to the blog part and they have made a new clip of the photos which is beautiful.
http://www.reflectionsofchrist.org/
As far as Marcus goes, we finally were able to get him into a Psychiatrist and he started medication last night and so far so good. Day #1 is down, keeping fingers crossed that this works for him.
5 comments:
Hope this medication can help Marcus and everyone else too. The Lord will help you daily, this too shall pass! Hang in there! We love you and know that things will get better. Love, MOM
Wow, that is an awesome site! Those images are breathtaking. Are they going to be at the AZ temple's visitor's center in Mesa permanently or will they be moving them from one visitor's center to another?
I feel so bad that Marcus is going through so much. I would hate for him to actually hurt someone and the consequences that could arise from that.
I can understand how stressful it is for a family to try to cope with one family member who has a life-threatening illness and all the while trying to deal with the every-day things that need to be done. Throw in mental illnesses (Marcus's brain tumor & surgery - and Jessica's strokes and lack of oxygen) and you have a very stressful family life.
I hope and pray that Marcus's medication can help him. He has got to be frustrated by the whole situation, especially at not being in control of anything. Not even his own emotions and actions.
We love you all and I know you will get through this... and you will be a better person, have a better marriage and a stronger family.
Thanks, Nancy and Mom. You are so right, both of you. (((group hug)))
Man, it makes me so mad that these kids not only have to suffer through the chemo and radiation they have all the after affects that really are emotionally draining. I am so sorry, please feel a big hug from me! We pray for you and your family...hold on!
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