Thursday, May 08, 2008

Another Long Day.

Marcus got home from school and went to play basketball with his friends. He was gone over 2 hours and said he got along just fine, but he did trip and land hard on his side. He said he felt pretty dizzy so he came home. Life after that became a nightmare, snapping at everyone who walked into the living room, threatening kids and just being nasty. I let him on the computer to do an assignment for school, he got ticked off at Aaron for something stupid, so 10 minutes later he logged off the computer and decided he wasn't going to do his homework. Didn't like what we were having for dinner, didn't eat. It just got worse from there.
We are supposed to go on our Make-a-wish trip on June 5th, and no one is excited about it. It is so hard to be excited when the person getting the wish is being mean and nasty. I hope something happens before this trip.

We spoke to his Oncologist and she referred him to Neurology. I called to schedule an appointment and they won't see him because they don't deal with behavior issues. There is not a "pediatric neurospychologist" in the state of Utah. We are paying up the butt for Marcus to see these Dr.'s and they all just seem to be not sure of themselves. One had an idea to change behavior by rewarding for good behavior with kinda a "gambling" type of thing. He is never sure when he is going to hit the jackpot. But my husband and I can't find any reward that he wants.... money doesn't even motivate him! He has refused taking any medication and won't co-operate with any Dr. Nothing is his fault and has no remorse for anything hes done.
I just read an article about a girl from Arizona who suffered a concussion and had horrible personality change, and brain injury issues. She was diagnosed and had all kinds of help. HELLO??? Isn't there anyone who deals with that around here? Doesn't anyone in UTAH ever have head injuries and have treated them? I feel like the Dr.'s are just shrugging their shoulders, handing him a pill, or guessing on what they can do for him.
All I know is I can't live this way, my kids cannot live this way. My poor kids follow me around the house cause they dont' want to be left alone with him. I am just at my wits end and don't know where to go next. Each day he gets more and more stubborn, mean and hateful. Everything is about him and if it goes any other way, he takes it out on someone. I am afraid for the safety of my kids. What has to happen before there is really someone that can help him? If something happens, and he ends up in Juvee, he will be a helpless cause. He will soon be 17 and I am so scared of his future. I don't know if I am more scared of the cancer coming back or what will happen to him (or someone else ) if he doesn't get help.

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