I should know better than to "vent" at 2:00 in the morning, when I am soooo tired and my depression and anxiety have the best of me.
This morning I opened up an email from someone that I have known and admired since I was young. She was inspired to read my blog this morning and read my last entry that was by far a very low moment. She sent me a beautiful email full of love, and caring encouragement. I am so grateful for her kind and loving words that made my heart fill with peace and renew my Faith in the Lord. I want her to know how thankful I am for her. God sent her to give me the peace and a reminder that I can receive strength through him.
I really am grateful for being blessed enough to have such special children. I am thankful to have Marcus as my son and he will always be my son for eternity. He has made it and doesn't have to deal with this cruel world, and especially his cancer. He has a mission to do and I know that he is watching over us. I am thankful that he was able to be there for Aaron and continues to watch over each of us.
I am thankful that no one has been seriously injured throughout all of this. These are just small bumps in the road compared to the eternal perspective. " I am not yet as Job, and do not suffer as he suffered". I have 3 boys here with me who I love and adore. They are my life and I will enjoy every moment I have with them. I am also so thankful for my dear, sweet, never failing husband John. He has such patience with me and my emotional rollercoaster. He keeps things going when I dig a hole and bury my head every now and again. He is a great father and provider. He never thinks of himself first and stands up for what he believes is right. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful man.
MY HOUSE, I am ever so thankful for being able to buy this home that I love and that holds so many precious memories of our family. A place where I love the people around me. How thankful I am for the loving neighbors and friends that help me and support me. They think of me often and show what Charity really is.
My Mom. How I am so ever grateful for HER! She is amazing!! She held me up during the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life... watch my son die. She didn't have to be here, but she chose to, to be here to not only watch her grandson die, but watch her daughter endure the pain of losing her child. I will be eternally grateful to her for that and for my Dad. He let her go and leave him behind. Thanks Dad for being so unselfish to let her come here, time after time in my times of need.
This is getting long, but I have to mention my gratitude for my siblings. Each one of them gives me so much strength in their own way. The Lord knew what he was doing when he created families.
So there is my "UN_VENT" as you can see, my perspective has changed since yesterday. Thanks to a dear loving person who took the time to listen to the promptings and to write me a simple email. The Lord answers our prayers in so many ways!!! May God Bless you!!